Saturn in the 5th house ~ learning life's lessons in the house of children.

Today's cuppa: Lime and elderflower tea

I'm researching for a book I wish to write about the impact of having the planet Saturn in the 5th house.

In astrology, the 12 houses are considered to be mansions of the soul. The planet which is transiting through it at the time of your birth, brings energy or lessons with it.

Saturn is considered to be Father Time, or some say, the Lord of Karma. However you choose to look at it, this planet certainly brings *interesting* learning opportunities. The fifth house represents children, creativity and love affairs.

My focus, for the book, is specifically on children.

Having Saturn in this house can manifest in many ways. Ancient astrologers used to say that if a woman had Saturn in this house, it meant she couldn't have children. Later on they said that if she did have children, she'd be a bad mother (ouch!!). I know in my life it manifests by finding it REALLY hard to sit down and 'play dolls'!! (LOL)

I have Saturn in my 5th house ~ and am interested in how it plays out in other women's lives. My grandmother's saturn in the 5th manifested with three children dying in infancy (during the war years).

Clearly my life's work is around children, and it plays out not only in the passion I have for my own children being raised optimally, but also through creating The Mother magazine.

Saturn in the 5th house can manifest in so many ways, such as infertility (usually it has psychological, rather than physical, reasons), repeated miscarriages, stillbirth, death of a child/children in infancy....generally, 'difficulties' around children. I want to show that it isn't always like this, and can manifest in other ways too.

Lest it sound all doom and gloom, it needn't be....and that is the point I wish to make in my book... how we can take these lessons and *prune* our essential self to blossom fully, rather than be crushed and heartbroken.

I believe Saturn is our life coach....he's here to test our spiritual muscles, so to speak. Many people who dabble in astrology fear Saturn. It's a shame, and I certainly believe that the more you fear something, the more painful a hold it has on you. My goal in writing this book is to show how we can genuinely befriend Saturn and use this natal placement to our advantage and JOY.

If you have Saturn in the 5th and would be happy to contribute your experiences, please do contact me via The Mother website. If you suspect you might have it there, but are not sure, you can google Astrodienst and get a free chart done. You'll need an accurate time of birth.
Or I can look into it for you.

Please be assured all correspondence is strictly confidential, and if you do decide to be a 'case study' in the book, names will be changed to protect privacy.

Best wishes, Veronika

Inducing guilt in bottle feeding mothers

Today's cuppa: Echinacea tea (and a few cinnamon cookies I made yesterday!)

I was watching William, our chubby short-haired Persian, sitting outside in the rain this morning being attacked by swallows. They flew down, one at a time, right down to his ear height. William thought it was a wonderful game; tail wagging, paw up. He had no idea that he was an enemy in their environment.

I mused that his circumstance wasn't much different to mine. When you go into someone else's space, you risk everything and are open to criticism. I enter that space every time I write a blog or put out an issue of The Mother magazine.

This past week, or so, has opened up the breastfeeding debate once again ~ thankfully. Unfortunately, with it comes a load of incorrect information, even, and especially, from the very organisations we rely on to educate!

The chief executive of the National Childbirth Trust, Belinda Phipps, wrote to The Times stating that they support a woman's 'choice' whether to breastfeed or bottle feed. You simply can not promote natural childbirth without educating about the importance of breastfeeding. As soon as we take a stance like that of the NCT, we're effectively saying 'there's no difference between breast milk and formula.' We're not talking about choosing between coke and pepsi, for goodness sake! Though coke and freshly squeezed orange juice might be a better analogy ~ one being dead, artificial and a path to death, the other being fresh, life-giving and packed with enzymes.

Nobody EVER talks about the baby's rights, you know, that little dependent creature who's forced to drink that toxic concoction of 'formula'. Every baby born on this planet has encoded into every cell of their being, the BIOLOGICAL EXPECTATION to breastfeed for anything up to about the time the milk teeth fall out. EVERY BABY!

Isn't it child abuse on the grandest scale to deny them this

because a mother can't be 'bothered'?

Imagine 50 billion dominoes all lined up, ready to be knocked over in order. Our neurons are like this… we wait for the right developmental need to be met, and bang, another 'domino' goes over ~ a 'connection' is made in the neural pathways. When we 'CHOOSE' a counterfeit milk, the dominoes don't get knocked over. When we choose to forgo the bonding which is specific to feeding at the breast, we are denying our child more than just their birth right. We're compromising their life-long physical health, emotional well-being, neuro-psychological function and healthy sexuality. When the cued dominoes don't fall over during the baby/child's expected developmental stage, they don't EVER get the chance for that to happen again. They may spend their adult life looking for quick fixes to sort out an aching emptiness which pervades their being.

Every hour of every day is important in the great biological plan of the human body.

In a few short generations we've deviated from our biological expectations. In a few short generations, cultures which rely on formula have become very ill and very dysfunctional. But it's a *choice*, though. It's become the norm for most people to survive, rather than thrive. When just about everybody is tootling along in first gear, rather than fifth, the culture thinks this is 'natural'.

Let's follow this through, though, because at the end of the day someone has to PAY for these choices. Not only will the person raised on formula have to pay with poorer vision, intelligence, hearing, well-being (the list is endless!), but society pays, and the Earth most certainly pays. Will breastfeeding mothers be able to CHOOSE not to contribute taxes to the National Health Service on the grounds that they took full responsibility for their child's health? That would bring 'choice' full circle. It might sound selfish, indeed, even a radical thought, but at the rate we're going, it might become an option. It would truly be a user pays service.

Our culture supports abortion ~ leaving it up to the woman whether she takes the child's life or not. Although socially accepted, does it make it any less of a child killing? Rather than support women in these circumstances, or ideally, show them how not to create unwanted pregnancies, we give them the 'choice'.

Breastfeeding is viewed in the same way. People are scared to speak up. If women want to choose bottle feeding over breastfeeding, I believe they should sign a disclaimer acknowledging the harm they're putting their baby in…and promising to take full responsibility for the outcome, even if it manifests decades later in depression, adrenal issues, heart problems, suicide, violence, etc., or reproductive organ cancers in the mother.

Another letter to The Times claimed that, as she was an adoptive mother, she had no choice but to bottle feed. This is simply another myth. A woman choosing to adopt a baby can induce lactation. This sort of information should be given out by adoption agencies.

The best letter by far was from Alison Blenkinsop who wrote that formula isn't second best, expressed milk from the mother is, and third best is donated breast milk. I'm so glad The Times published that!

Ours is a culture that really doesn't want women like me to speak up and dispel myths. The myths keep everyone inertia ~ and stop them from taking action and responsibility, not only for their own health, but for the baby's health, and the effect on society and the environment.

So, I feel a bit like William with the swallows some times. Little arrows fly at me telling me to 'shut up, get out of our space'. Frankly, though, it's not enough for me to write or publish articles just in The Mother magazine. For the most part, it's preaching to the converted. Nothing wrong with that, of course, as we might just reach 100th monkey syndrome and create a breastfeeding revolution.

One of the most common things which come out of any breastfeeding conversation is that we mustn't make bottle feeding mothers feel guilty.

Firstly, NO-ONE but no-one can *make* you feel anything. The choice is always with you as to how you perceive or respond to an issue.

Secondly, guilt is not a feeling, it's a thought. We may feel sick in the stomach, chew our nails, eat a donut to get rid of emotional discomfort, but they are secondary responses. Guilt comes from 'knowing' we're compromising the optimum. It's a biological response to show us we're 'off the path'. Guilt is a fabulous thing when we listen to it, rather than suppress it.

Is it so awful (honestly??) for us to remind women that they've put their child in danger? Not to mention the woman's own health and increased risk from breast, ovarian and cervical cancers?

If you saw a child walking across the motorway about to be knocked over would you just stand there and do nothing? Bottlefeeding is no different! Death may not be so immediate, but the consequences can be just as devastating.

Is it so bad to remind women that true mothering means meeting every one of your baby's biological needs? How on Earth do we create change if we don't speak up?

People assume that the breastfeeding brigade is a bunch of sanctimonious trouble makers. I would say that they are women who are speaking from a place of love. It is love that brings us to action, that causes us to speak out. It's love for the woman and baby. It's love for all of humanity. One bottle fed baby affects everyone.

Personally, guilt would overcome me if I kept my mouth shut every time I heard a breastfeeding myth. Guilt would tell me that I'm not living my truth, walking my talk, or being authentic if I just smiled and said, 'there, there, never mind, it's a CHOICE'.

It's easy to target someone like Jordan for blatantly promoting bottle feeding. The truly sad part is that she doesn't feel she's severely compromising her children. It appears she gives no thought to the impact her disposable bottles have on the environment. Yes, as someone commented on last week's blog, she IS a victim too. It breaks my heart that she hasn't bonded with her baby or the planet. What hope is there for her children when they become parents?

I don’t feel, however, that I do anything to promote breast feeding by ignoring a situation like this. Sometimes we need examples to show how far off the mothering continuum some people go. She's very deliberately chosen to be in the public eye ~ and particularly, in this case, to promote her infant formula views. So, in some ways, she too is like William the cat!! (Fancy Jordan and I having something in common!!) Little arrows are coming to her from all directions. Sadly, though, like William, she probably thinks it's a game too.

There'll be women reading this who believe, hand on heart, that they really couldn't breastfeed. I have the utmost empathy for you. Any woman who still has intact breasts CAN breastfeed. One of the biggest myths in western culture is that of insufficient milk syndrome. The proportion of women who claim to not have enough milk rises in response to the availability of infant formula in their culture. End of story.

There will be other women who'll say they had to stop because they had sore nipples, mastitis [put in just about any reason here, apart from extreme illness or death]… It's very unfortunate that any of these things afflict breastfeeding women, but it is even more unfortunate that these challenges become reasons to stop. This issue is never about the 'problem', but about the incorrect support or information.

Even a high circulation 'natural parenting' magazine in the UK is continuing to print inappropriate breastfeeding advice. It's a vicious circle and I'm not surprised that women give up so easily.

Does that mean I should shut up and say "it's a woman's choice to bottle feed?"

Not on their little baby's life!

THE GREAT MOTHERING DISCONNECT ~ a sign of our dysfunctional culture

Today's cuppa: Lemon grass and ginger ~ especially for my gorgeous friend Ruth in Cornwall. Happy birthday syster (for August 8th)

OK! magazine and SMA, makers of counterfeit milk, should be utterly ashamed of themselves for such unethical profiteering by using Jordan to promote the use of their fake milk.

I've not seen the photo spread but have had enough emails from concerned mothers to know it features her new baby with a diamond encrusted dummy and very obvious images of SMA products in the pictures. Had Jordan asked her baby what she'd prefer, there's no question the little girl would indicate 'breast'. But the wee little lass never got the chance. You see, Jordan doesn't believe in breastfeeding. She's made it quite clear in the past that breasts are purely for a man's pleasure and not for something as primal as, OMG, breast feeding!

Clearly Jordan has no idea of how SEVERELY compromised babies are when raised on fake milk ( physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually), and is in no position to even begin to talk about infant nutrition, but, as usual, she's given ample media space to spout her uninformed views, thereby influencing countless others who take her word as gospel. If she thinks there's no difference between breast milk and the lifeless and deadly crap which comes in a can, then how many ignorant families will follow this belief? Sadly, far too many.

The tragedy is she wears the undeserved title of celebrity and is seen as a role model by million of girls. But what's there to celebrate? She's completely disconnected from the act and art of mothering. Is this what we want a generation of teenage girls to learn? SERIOUSLY?

First she plans to have her baby cut out of her...you know, it's that old thing of keeping the *honeymoon vagina*, and then she shoves plastic into the baby's mouth…no, not mum's plastic boobs, but a plastic bottle and dummy. Diamond encrusted or otherwise, it takes 450 years for a dummy to decompose. Do you know how many dummies are required for the millions and millions and millions of babies who aren't comforted at mother's breast? The average bottle fed baby has about six bottles, not to mention all the accessories which go with it… In the UK alone, 200 000 babies are born each year who never even taste breast milk. Out of the 400 000 babies breastfed, only half of those will remain on the breast past two weeks of age. That's an awful lot of pollution and waste ending up in landfills. How many more bottle fed babies is Jordan helping to create with her SMA (well paid) campaign?

The infant formula industry is responsible for a lot of the dioxins and toxins in our soil, air and water…the very things now being found in breast milk! And they tell breast feeding women to switch to formula because of toxins in breast milk!!!!??? The mind boggles. Yep, let's get the whole darn world on to formula...that'll fix everything. NOT!

The waste produced, and then dumped, as a result of millions upon millions of babies being fed fake milk is destroying our planet. It's one of the biggest environmental crimes going ~ yet ignored by media and government.

I make no apologies for my rant. The whole thing with Jordan being used to promote infant formula in OK! seems to me to be utterly unethical. She's promoting a way of life that has implications beyond anything she is capable of comprehending. She already has a sick child, so I'm stunned that she isn't doing everything possible to raise this one in an optimal way.

One and a half million babies a year die from fake milk and thousands upon thousands are made ill. Why would anyone with more than two brain cells, or a beating heart, even think of promoting such a deadly substance? Oh, I forgot! Silly me…she was paid for it.

Her littlest one is five weeks old and already Jordan is back out nightclubbing. This is a classic sign that she hasn't bonded with her child ~ clearly seen from choosing to have her baby delivered (like a pizza) rather than born, and choosing to not breastfeed (thereby keeping her heart chakra well and truly closed!). An infant is intensely needy for her mother's arms. All babies are for at least nine months of age.

Studies show that babies who don't breastfeed are more likely to be abandoned by their mother. Jordan abandons her baby by the act of giving her a dummy and going off dancing. But it's ok, isn't it? It's NORMAL in our culture to do this. That's what mums do. It's actively encouraged to be 'free' from your baby and live a 'normal life'.

But I ask, based on all the studies and research into infant care, why hasn't she been charged with child neglect? Sadly, we live in a culture where that's reserved for women who birth unassisted or breastfeed their babies beyond 12 months of age.

Whatever happened to real mothers? They're few and far between.

I'm glad ever so glad Jordan wasn't my mother.

HOT MILK ~ the Australian breastfeeding conference which forgot its purpose...

Today's cuppa: something strong!

The Australian Breastfeeding Association just hosted a national conference. Looking at the literature, it looked like an event no lactivist would want to miss…EXCEPT, I think they forgot the purpose of their goal ~ to promote breastfeeding.

Here's why. In their conference bag was an advert (there was also a trade stand) for a baby timing device. This bleeps you when baby needs to sleep or feed (the feed was indicated by a bottle symbol!??) The ad was repeated in the conference programme. Mothers don't need timing devices! If you are with your baby all the time (which you should be) you'll 'feel' when she's hungry or sleepy. If you are with your baby, as nature designed it to be, you'll be in her electro-magnetic field and aware of everything she's experiencing. This is the 'true' meaning of bonding.

There were ads for Nutricia Caricare Gold (which has been banned in NZ due to safety concerns) with the heading FEED THEIR IMMUNE SYSTEM FROM THE INSIDE OUT

and

WHY BELLAMY'S ORGANIC TODDLER MILK DRINK IS YOUR BEST CHOICE.


And for dessert they served ice cream by the baby murderers, known to most as Nestle!

Forgive me, but I just don't GET IT! This was meant to be a breastfeeding conference.

Cholesterol drug for men over 50

Today's Cuppa: Olive leaf tea

I couldn't believe it when I heard a news report the other week saying the government want all men over fifty to have a drug to reduce cholesterol. One more way of controlling the masses? You'd better believe it! Can we honestly trust any drug or vaccine? Call me a sceptic, but where there is money to be made… And let's face it, the cholesterol drug is the highest earning drug of all time, so why wouldn't our mates at Downing Street want to make it mandatory?

As someone married to a man over 50, there's no way I'd *LET* him buy into this rubbish! Doctors usually recommend drugs to balance cholesterol. BUT WHY? Nature adequately provides stanols in foods like olive oil, tomatoes, apples and almonds. Tragically, many, many thousands of men will heed this government suggestion/fear-based warning and take the drug. It strikes me as unethical, if not financially greedy, to offer this solution to the masses, rather than educating them about better health.

Cholesterol is a lifestyle dis-ease. Change the lifestyle, don't cover it up with a band-aid like a drug. What's the point? The stresses will only find another route through which to get your attention.

There are three key factors with cholesterol ~ diet, exercise and stress levels. In order to lower cholesterol it's important not to have a lot of animal fat (including butter, cheese and eggs). It's usually found that vegetarians and vegans have lower cholesterol levels ~ providing they're not living of Macdonald's cheese burgers!! If you're serious about reducing cholesterol, cut out all animal products.

Cholesterol is produced mostly by the liver. You can cleanse the liver by drinking nettle and dandelion tea alternatively. A herb tincture of Milk Thistle and/or artichoke is particularly helpful. Use olive oil instead of butter.

Omega 3 oil has been shown to increase HDL cholesterol and protect the heart against heart disease. This is best consumed from algae oil or flaxseed oil ~ studies from King's College, London, show that it is more easily absorbed than fish oil (more ethical too).
*Hemp oil is brilliant. Include it 'raw' in your salad dressings, or have it in a smoothie. Try and include it in your diet at least three times a week. It's simple to use…a few tablespoons mixed with a large spoon of apple cyder vinegar, a spoon of agave syrup or honey, a teaspoon of wholegrain mustard, a crushed garlic clove, and a sprinkling of fresh herbs and you've a great salad dressing!

*Also add high fibre foods such as beans, whole grains, fruits and vegetables as they soak up the cholesterol. These should be part of a healthy lifestyle anyway!
*You can also include psyllium hulls, apple fibre and oat bran. If everyone ate a couple of apples a day their whole digestive system would benefit enormously. They act like a vacuum cleaner along the intestinal tract.
* Olive leaf tea is very effective.
* Numerous studies worldwide show that raw garlic is brilliant in lowering cholesterol.
* Red yeast rice has been found to lower cholesterol.

Exercise is vital ~ 45 minutes - 60 minutes daily. This can be brisk walking, rebounding, swimming…anything that gets the heart working.
It's important to find an exercise you love so that you stick with it. I'm always astonished by the number of people who say their lifestyle is too busy to include exercise. We're a long time dead ~ make time to move! If you've got time to watch Big Brother, you've got time to exercise.

Personally, I find my daily 3 mile walk as beneficial to my mind as to my physical health. It's my time out away from everything.

Stress management

There are various ways to balance/reduce stress. Exercise is a great start. Meditation; finding ways to have 'alone' time where nothing matters; going to bed early, a long bath WITHOUT kids alongside!

Sometimes, especially as busy parents, we have to get creative in how we find time and space for ourselves.

The Drinks Are On Me ~ everything your mother never told you about breastfeeding

Today's cuppa: It's got to be fennel tea ~ that wonderfully aromatic aniseed flavoured brew to help increase breast milk. I still drink it even though I'm not lactating. My husband has even started drinking fennel tea despite having an aversion to herbal teas!

It's world Breastfeeding Awareness Week. There's so much to be said about breastfeeding that what else could I do but write a book! So, here's a shameless plug. It's being published in just a few short weeks.

The Drinks Are On Me
Everything your mother never told you about breastfeeding

by Veronika Sophia Robinson


The Drinks Are On Me reclaims and celebrates the ancient art of breastfeeding ~ a natural way of feeding our babies which has allowed humanity to exist for half a million years. The book argues that the increase in physical, emotional and psycho-sexual dysfunction seen throughout western society is in direct proportion to our rapidly decreasing breastfeeding rates. Our healthy existence as a species is dependent on full-term breastfeeding becoming the norm again.

I draw on my rich experiences as a breastfeeding mother ~ a ten year journey which included five years of tandem nursing ~ and explain why breastfeeding is vital for the healthy continuation of the species. Embracing a holistic view, I show how to overcome common, and not so common, breastfeeding challenges, whether they be physical, emotional or cultural.

This book is equally suitable for new and experienced mothers. It’s essential reading for all professionals (doctors, midwives, dentists and health visitors) who influence a mother’s choice to breastfeed or not (and thoroughly referenced lest there be any doubt to the claims made!).

I deliberately take a step outside the usual breastfeeding knowledge to present a new framework in which to view how we nourish and nurture our children.



Publishing September 1st 2007

Art of Change

ISBN 978-0-9530063-4-2

204pp

£11.99pb

Contents include:

How to breastfeed
Colostrum
Premature babies in NICU & SCBU
Vitamin K and vitamin D
Engorgement, plugged milk ducts & mastitis
Breastfeeding and AIDS
Caesareans and breastfeeding
Jaundice
Tongue Tie ~ short frenulum
Cleft lip/palate
Nursing multiples
Down’s Syndrome
Teething and colic
Men and breastfeeding
Breastfeeding in pregnancy
Breastfeeding a toddler
Breastfeeding in public
A holistic approach to sexuality
Toxins and breast milk
Breastfeeding and the environment/the impact formula feeding has on the air, water and soil
A natural approach to weaning
Nutrients and the human brain
Full-term breastfeeding
Non-nutritive sucking
Women who can’t breastfeed
Sustained breastfeeding for a peaceful society
Adoption and breastfeeding
Reclaiming the sacred feminine

Thoroughly referenced, this book presents uncommon breastfeeding information and debunks many myths in order to help mothers make a truly informed decision about breastfeeding.

Breast milk is our greatest natural food resource and as locally produced as food gets!

PUBLISHER: The Art of Change
For further information, please contact Barry Durdant-Hollamby: themother@artofchange.co.uk OR artofchange@msn.com or phone +44 (0) 1342 823 809 www.artofchange.co.uk
PO Box 441, East Grinstead, West Sussex, RH18 5DH England

The Love Vessel

Today's Cuppa: calming chamomile

I was out amongst The Muggles today…and found myself desperately holding back tears as I witnessed a vicious attack. Unfortunately, it was one of those attacks where cultural taboos prevented me from stepping in, something I now regret.

Standing in the queue of Penrith Post Office, I watched a man go ballistic at his son when he discovered he hadn't brought money to pay for a parcel they were sending. It turned out the father didn't have any cash on him either. He *could* have apologised to the teller and said, "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, can you hold this parcel till we go and get my wallet?" Instead, he emotionally (and mentally and spiritually) pummelled his teenage son to the ground. That *we* can do this to those we love the most is mind-numbing. A bonded parent would have found other (harmless) ways to express frustration. To have inflicted such psychic violence and torture on this boy in public, leaves me questioning how he behaves when he's not on best behaviour in front of twenty plus witnesses. I have had similar feelings watching twenty stone men raising their body against tiny toddlers in supermarkets saying "You just wait till we get home!"

I was energetically shattered by witnessing this attack, in much the same way as when I've seen CCTV footage of brutal physical beatings on tv.

A short time later I was in another building when a man in his fifties started his tirade. When his wife asked if he'd finished the shopping, he loudly and rudely said "If you stopped minding everyone else's business and got your fat arse over here, we'd have had the shopping done."

Mantra-like, I chimed in the four walls of my mental prison ~ "It's none of your business, Veronika! It's none of your business, Veronika! It's none of your business, Veronika! It's none of your business, Veronika!"

Holes formed in my tongue as I forced myself away from them. I'd have liked to ask the man, gently of course, if he had any idea of how nasty and vulgar his tone was to her ~ the love of his life. Was it necessary to speak to her like that? And to ask her, "WHY do you allow him to speak to you like that?"

Where is the love? Where is the LOVE??????? Don't you know, can't you FEEL, that violence only breeds more violence?

Look into each other's eyes. You're not enemies. You're connected by Divine Thread. To hurt each other, is to hurt your self. Why would you inflict such pain on yourself?

This hostility is so alien to me that when I witness such scenes I beg the gods to transport me back to my own planet. "Please, have mercy!"

I'm no saint by any means, and live an imperfect life, but the widespread dysfunction which exists in our society is truly frightening. All the ideas I want to instil into the mass consciousness about love, bonding and optimal parenting, are simply foreign tongue to the masses.

I would never stay in a relationship in which I was treated with anything less than respect and love.

Back home now, in my humble Love Shack, I can breathe again. Drawbridge hoisted up firmly, I reflect on a species so far out of touch with the good and brilliant within them. What a waste.

Creating a space of love must start with our self. When we're able to love and respect every aspect of our being it becomes impossible for another to enter that space in an attitude of anything less than reverence, love, gratitude, humour (not sarcasm) and harmony.

Really simple science = we're mostly made of water, a vibrational, magnetic substance. Fill your inner vessel with peace and purity and you simply must attract the same back into your life.

Empowered Mothering

Today's Cuppa: Pure, living water (aka breast milk direct from source)

We are at our most empowered, as mothers, when we do not rely on modern technology to fulfil our role. This has been brought home to me many times this week when observing and listening to the many people caught up in the flooding of central and southern England. There are countless babies at the mercy of other people who are bringing in clean water so parents can make up counterfeit milk.

My heart absolutely goes out to everyone devastated by these floods…as much as to the 200 people who died in floods in China this week, and the 500 who've died in the Hungarian heat wave.

It does remind me, though, just how far removed we are from our natural mothering instincts that young babies aren't even drinking from their mother ~ someone who could offer them 'living water' on tap regardless of external influences.

We think we can replace breast milk with something as inadequate as a static 'formula'. We even have the cheek to call it 'milk', as if we were offering our babies the elixir of life! Collectively, we have allowed our culture to hypnotise us into thinking breastfeeding is an embarrassment, something reserved for primitives.

Hygeia Halfmoon, author of Primal mothering in a modern world, recalls being evacuated in Hawaii after a natural disaster ( I can't recall if it was an earthquake or erupting volcano) and sitting in a large centre with all the evacuees. All the babies were screaming from hunger as there was no access to formula or fresh water. She was the only one breastfeeding. Can you imagine how heartbreaking it would be to know you could feed a number of other children from your breasts, had they not lost their sucking reflex by being introduced to bottle-feeding?

Empowered mothering doesn't rely on man-made products, be they drink, food, sleeping prisons, monitors, bottles and so on. Your body, mind and heart contain everything needed to parent beautifully and with integrity for the reciprocal bonding of mother and child.

Unassisted birth observational documentary for Granada TV

To follow is an invite from Granada TV.


Here in the UK there is a growing interest in Freebirthing and I am presently working on an observational documentary for Granada TV on the growing movement in the UK and how women are increasingly choosing to have a more natural birth for their child.

I would love to speak with women who are planning an unassisted birth for their baby and who are passionate about their reasons and their right to choose. If this is you I would really appreciate the opportunity to talk with you about your experience and future plans.

To reassure you it will be a positive and informative documentary that hopefully will answer questions about this type of childbirth. We are interested to know if you had a bad experience in hospital that has lead you to this decision?

Your identity would be protected if this is something you would require and I would like to reassure any expectant mothers that we will not intrude on your labour with a film crew - there are ways we can capture the birth without the need for other people.

I can be contacted by email on Helen.Crocombe@itv.com or telephone 0207 261 3806 so please do get in touch as your involvement is important to us.

Breastfeeding myths

Bethany in Forest Row last weekend.


Today's Cuppa: Ginger and orange tea


I mentioned in my last blog entry the constant tug of war within me ~ isolating myself from society, or being very much part of it and educating others.



One topic which certainly has the old tug of war rope chaffing my stretch-marked belly is that of breastfeeding. I've endured a lot of flak in the past year and a half over appearing in the Extraordinary Breastfeeding documentary. Unfortunately, the programme did very little to educate the ignorant masses who still see feeding our infants and children as something optional or even unnecessary, if not downright disgusting ~ something akin to urinating in public. The mind boggles. Clearly some people really can't tell the difference between a living food and a bodily waste product.




Those people aside, one of my biggest frustrations is related to people who work in the parenting field who perpetuate myths.


The biggest ones are:

1.) It's normal for breastfeeding to hurt ~ expect sore nipples

Nipple pain is either caused by an infection (such as thrush or herpes) or, most commonly, by incorrect latch-on. It's important for all mothers to know that nipple pain is completely avoidable, and not a 'normal' part of breastfeeding, and that the first sign of discomfort for any mother is a warning bell that her baby isn't latched-on properly.

Nipple pain is never a matter of bad luck,
but to do with breastfeeding mismanagement.

In order to increase breastfeeding rates, we have to ensure women are given correct information so they can avoid discomfort, and enjoy breastfeeding for the pleasurable experience it was designed to be.


We would see a tripling of breastfeeding rates (according to the British Medical Journal) if women gathered in breastfeeding groups to learn about breastfeeding. A sad consequence of our nuclear family society is that most women don't get to witness breastfeeding until they have their own baby. How tragic, given it is something so fundamental to the survival of the human species. Breastfeeding has become a dying art. Without breastfeeding, humanity as a species will deteriorate, and then die out.

2.) Bottlefeeding allows dad to bond with baby ~ so get expressing.

Breast milk was never meant to see the light of day, and we do the baby, mother and the father a disservice to suggest bottle-feeding as a way of bonding. Our aim as parents should be to raise our children optimally, not to compromise them in any way. Bottle-feeding is a massive compromise and should be reserved for emergencies, not used as a lifestyle choice.

When a father feels 'left out' by the breastfeeding experience, this is to do with subconscious memories of his own feeding experience in infancy.
Had his needs been fully met in infancy and childhood, there'd be no reason for him to feel left out as a parent.

3.) Babies need iron by six months of age


I've just read a 'natural' parenting magazine which allowed the iron myth to be published…again undermining successful, exclusive breastfeeding beyond the six month age.

There are so many studies which prove that a breastfed baby has plenty of access to adequate iron in breast milk (regardless of the mother's iron status!). The confusion and misinformation regarding infants and iron has been taken from formula fed babies' tendency towards anaemia, and reliance on synthetic iron. The vitamin c in breast milk allows the iron in it to be utilised by the baby.

If you are seriously concerned about your baby's iron levels, then keep up with exclusive breastfeeding! As soon as you introduce solids you are reducing the body's ability to absorb iron. Sadly, the most common foods introduced to babies (rice, cereals, etc ~ in the belief they'll supply iron) are the worst things that should be introduced in the first or second year of life. If you must introduce solids, stick to RIPE, raw fruit and NEVER introduce any food before six months of age. Anything else is a massive insult on a premature digestive system.

My own daughters weren't introduced to solids until the end of their first year of life. They've never had commercial baby food. Their 'weaning' foods were organic bananas, avocados, strawberries, pears, apple, etc.

Later in their second year they had some lightly steamed sweet potato, pumpkin and broccoli. It wasn't until their third year they were introduced to the meals Paul and I were having. They've always been good eaters and not fussy about fruit and vegetables as commonly reported amongst children. Sure, they have their likes and dislikes, but for the most part they eat a wide variety of fruit, vegetables, seeds, whole grains and nuts.

4.) She's ready for solids


There's so much pressure to introduce solids to babies. I believe it is all part of the cultural bulldozer which seeks to separate mother and child. It's all heavily camouflaged behind the idea that when a baby is putting things in her mouth, or having a growth spurt, that she's ready for food. Breast milk IS FOOD!

TV presenter Lorraine Kelly labours under the misguided belief that babies should be fully weaned as soon as their first teeth appear. How much would she eat if her mouth contained just two, tiny pearly whites?

Why does common sense go out the window in so many aspects of child rearing?

5.) Formula milk is as good as breast milk


Formula is a static product. It shouldn't even have the world milk tacked onto the end of it. No matter how many artificial and synthetic vitamins and minerals the companies add to it, it is impossible to come remotely close to what nature intended our children to feed on for their first few years of life.

Recently I was sent a press release by a group of breastfeeding mothers in London showing some statistics regarding their ideas on breastfeeding; dismal to say the least. One of the quotes in the release went something like this: "Anyone would think formula was poison and that I was murdering my baby by giving him formula instead of breast milk."

Well, the more you educate yourself about breast milk, it's pretty hard to conclude anything else. Personally, I would put it in the category of poison.

I would move the earth (and moon) to give my children breast milk. Formula wouldn't even be a last resort!

There are so many reasons why I get frustrated by the constant pushing of infant formula. It isn't just about its complete inadequacy in providing optimum nutrition, but also because it simply can not provide for our long term emotional and mental needs. There are biochemical nutrients in breast milk with are absolutely CRUCIAL to our long term emotional health. Formula can never provide for this.

Work done by the marvellous James Prescott PhD shows that by breastfeeding for 2.5 years or longer, an absence of suicides and depression was found in most cultures. Breastfeeding bonding (affectional bonding) is imperative in a culture which seeks to live peacefully.

Some of the leading health problems in the world related to sexual, social, mental or emotional dysfunction (such as rape, suicide, depression and homicide) are found in cultures with next to non-existent breastfeeding in infancy and childhood.

Breastfeeding statistics are appalling. As a culture we have NO excuse for this!! We consider ourselves in first world countries to be rich ~ nothing could be further from the truth.

In the US, for example,

6.8% breastfed at 12 months
2.7% breastfed for 24 months or more
1% was breastfed for 30 months or more


How is it that 97% of children are not even meeting the minimum age set for breastfeeding by the hugely conservative World Health Organisation? Have we simply made it too easy for women to choose fake milk? Tribal cultures wouldn't even be able to comprehend such statistics. They don't have incidences of women 'choosing' not to breastfeed or believing that they can't breastfeed. They just do it!

If we didn't have formula milk companies we wouldn't have stats like those above. We'd have a 99% breastfeeding-from-mother rate, and in cases where a mother was unable to breastfeed due to illness (or death) a wet nurse would be available for the child. In my book, The Drinks Are On Me, I take a look at the spiritual and emotional reasons behind a woman's belief that she 'didn't have any/enough breast milk'.


Every time I see a breastfeeding myth perpetuated, I see breastfeeding slip further away from humanity's grasp. We simply won't survive many more generations without this optimal source of nutrition and bonding. A destructive culture has no choice but to destroy itself. Violence is like a cancer.


How will we ever explain to future generations that we had the evidence for full-term sustained breastfeeding, but as a culture we chose to ignore it?

To meet a kindred spirit

Today's Cuppa: Calming Chamomile


I'm still recovering from what has been, and still is, a busy week! Bethany's having her secondary school induction week at the moment, which she loves, and just had her violin exam too. Bethany couldn't get into the two nearest secondary schools (thank goodness!) as they were full, so she's going to a very small one in Alston, an isolated community at the top of the Pennines in the UK's highest market town. She has 17 in her class which is very unusual for a mainstream secondary school. The school she would have been expected to go to has about 1800 pupils. The one she's at has 200. There is a very strong sense of community and friendship there and from everything I've seen and heard, the staff seek to make the environment as warm and nurturing as possible. Today she's spending the day with her fellow classmates and teachers swimming at a leisure centre so they can all get to know each other better. She's already had offers from new friends to come and visit their house.

We went to Forest Row, East Sussex last weekend to witness the wedding of Richard House, a columnist for The Mother magazine, to Silvie Hetu, an infant massage instructor.

The ceremony was held in the beautiful gardens of Emerson College, an Anthroposophical teacher training college. Although Richard and I had never met in the flesh before, we've always shared a deep passion for the optimal well-being of children, particularly through allowing them to 'wake-up' to this world gently, and in their own time.

Weddings are always a good reminder of all we hold dear in our own marriage. It's particularly moving when the words of a ceremony honour the idea that when we are one with our self, we are then able to fully love and marry another.

At the wedding, and later that night at a party on a biodynamic farm, I met women who read The Mother. It's always humbling to have a personal experience of our readers and to hear their mothering or grandmothering story.

An absolute bonus, and no doubt a divinely inspired orchestration, of Richard's wedding being in Forest Row (even though he lives in Norfolk) was that we got to spend time with the Durdant-Hollamby family [publishers of The Mother magazine] who live there. If ever there was a family to model your own on, this family's the one!

They truly 'walk the talk' and their goal to be the happiest family in the world is contagious and deeply inspiring. I've been telling my friends ever since, that "everyone needs a family like the D-Hs in their life!"

As a family we got to witness the unusually strong 'alternative' community that exists in Forest Row, no doubt initially instigated by the Steiner school and college there. Many families home educate their children.

As I type, the view out my window is one that has nurtured my soul for eight and half years ~ the unspoilt countryside, the hills, the trees. I used to take the silence and fresh air here for granted! Having done the tortuous route of the M6 (stuck on it for 11.5 hours!) and M25 I will never forget how blessed I am to live in this sanctuary of outstanding natural beauty.

I find myself wanting to hang on to this rural and peaceful lifestyle forever and being torn with finding a place which offers kindred spirits and a sense of community like Forest Row does. My children are emerging into the world and have such different needs to me. I'd happily camp at the top of a mountain, hermit-like, for half a century, but I feel it would be wrong to deny my children the experience of duality. I experienced many aspects of life before having children and don’t feel the need to partake of most of it anymore, yet I'm aware that every experience we have in life is valid.

I expect to be a full-time mother for another seven or so years until my little birdies fly the nest, and then my deep desire to live in a log cabin in the wilderness can manifest. Until that time, I welcome with open arms the kindred spirits who also walk this world and seek like-minded soul-mates.

Attachment Parents ~ BEWARE of Aware Parenting

Today's Cuppa: Echinacea Tea


I love editing The Mother magazine. Daily I hear from women (and men) who are actively listening to their inner voice and following their intuition despite living in a culture which values possessions and money as priorities over the love, parental companionship, care and well-being of our children.

The downside of working in the parenting field is reading the utter rubbish that gets perpetuated in mainstream literature. So often a woman's instincts are dismissed by so- called experts. At one level we have the childless Supernanny telling parents how to raise their unruly children. At another, we have midwives or doctors who write books, such as Baby Sense by Megan Faure and Ann Richardson, which talk of feeding a baby rice or maize at three months of age (??!!) or not breastfeeding more than every two hours. And don’t even start me on The Good Sleep Guide by Angela Henderson. OMG! Utterly hideous and downright cruel to babies. In my opinion both of these books should be burnt. They are extremely dangerous in the messages they give to parents and are deeply insulting and ignorant of basic human neuro-biology. I read the other day that Gina Ford believes she takes a 'holistic approach to parenting'. Whatever next? Clearly the word holistic is used to cover all manner of sins these days.
I hear stories of doctors who suggest a baby be fed rusks at two weeks of age and Health Visitors (Public Enemy No. 1) who push mothers to get babies onto formula at seven weeks of age or earlier. These things frustrate me enormously and make me sick to the stomach. And yet in many ways they're to be expected in our culture. The Mother magazine feels like a lone voice in the vast wilderness of parenting.

My job in creating The Mother is centred around one purpose: to be an advocate for the babies and children. As a result the content may seem radical, cutting edge and for some people, just a tad too challenging, as it means they might have to compromise aspects of their lifestyle. It's far easier, or so they think, to just do 'what everyone else does'. Life's much easier if you don't rock the boat, isn't it?

In the past couple of years, there has been a rather insidious element creeping into natural parenting circles, so much so that I'm unaware of any other natural parenting magazine besides The Mother magazine which doesn't now promote Aware Parenting ~ a clever, yet misleading, term coined by Aletha Solter. I say insidious because this 'style' of parenting cushions itself within the admirable principles of attachment parenting and subverts them by acting, cult-like, in drawing in otherwise intelligent, nurturing, yet susceptible parents who might be exhausted or, more accurately, unsupported in their natural parenting choices.

Today's blog is to publicly state that in no way do I, personally or professionally, endorse the practice known as Aware Parenting ~ in particular the aspect of allowing the baby to 'cry it out'.

Proponents of this method argue that babies have unresolved tensions and need to cry them out in order to heal. They suggest that holding the baby while she cries will allow the baby to relieve herself of stress. What they don't seem to acknowledge is that crying is virtually unheard of in indigenous cultures where babies' needs are instantly met, if not anticipated first. Even if advocates of Aware Parenting don't wish to admit it, they are in effect encouraging 'controlled crying'. They do not encourage comforting of the baby through nursing, jiggling or rocking the baby ~ all actions which come instinctively to a NURTURING mother.

In my late teens, I worked for a professional babysitting agency. It's no exaggeration to say that the children of psychologists were, without fail, always difficult to sit for. Even back then I couldn't help but wonder if those famiies were parenting by rote from some textbook, rather than from their heart.

One advocate of Aware Parenting, a psychologist, suggests that if you don't let your baby cry in this way he might end up with a long list of psychological disorders. She suggests that social disorders such as addictions will happen. Now, imagine a new parent reading this sort of information. Well, no caring parent would want their child to grow up with this in front of them. Yet the exact opposite is true. Children deprived of non-nutritive suckling suffer all sorts of consequences, long and short term. I could present a thesis on it!

Aware Parenting gurus promise that if you follow their path it will provide you with a child who is 'calm and co-operative'. Whatever happened to accepting our children for who they are? Or taking responsibility for our failures rather than trying to 'fix' the child. Actually, my take is that these 'calm and cooperative' children will feel they weren't listened to; that their cries didn't get their needs met; that they were abandoned by the very person in this whole world who should have helped them. They've learnt not to 'rock the boat' or ask for anything any more because 'no-one will listen'. It is complete rubbish that all babies need to cry or that they need to cry for emotional release. Babies cry when their needs aren't met. If a baby is feeling agitated or taking on the stress from those around them, this can be relieved by carrying them against your body and breastfeeding on cue ~ which a mother would be doing anyway if she was parenting naturally. Our babies are more than capable of dealing with the ups and downs of day to day life if they're getting their needs met and handled with love and care. Babies don't cry for the fun of it! It causes great distress and discomfort. It's their last ditch attempt to get attention. It is NOT manipulation ~ which, by the way, is an adult trait, not a baby's one.

As a parent, if you choose to use controlled crying, then it is important that you acknowledge that you're not meeting your child's needs optimally. Own it. Whatever your reasons are for choosing to do this, DON'T BLAME THE CHILD. Many people who choose attachment parenting are doing so in social isolation; it is so at odds with our culture. Because of this, it is easy for them to feel overwhelmed at times and then to wonder if they're parenting 'wrongly'.

Aware Parenting is a clever marketing ploy in a sense, designed specifically to draw in vulnerable parents. There's a lot of money to be had in providing 'counselling' to parents who are struggling. To raise our children optimally we must not engage in emotionally crippling and numbing practises such as Aware Parenting promote through their controlled crying -which does two things ~ shows the baby it is not 'good enough' and severs the unique bond between mother and child by encouraging her to disengage from the one thing nature gave her to tell her the baby is 'in danger' ~ the CRY!

As Jean Liedloff wrote in The Contimnuum Concept "a baby's cry is precisely as serious as it sounds." Jean lived with the Yequanna tribe for some time and is far more qualified than most to speak about how babies are when raised in accord with their biological needs.

One of my major concerns with Aware Parenting is that a baby with very real problems will not be having its REAL needs met. Even in gentle births babies can be subluxated and need chiropractic or cranial support. Assuming that the baby has a 'need' to cry through emotional issues, is very misleading. This is an adult need.

So, what happens why a baby cries? There is a dramatic fluctuation in blood flow during extended crying which decreases cerebral oxygenation and causes an increase in cerebral blood volume. This increases intracranial pressure and puts the baby at risk for an intracranial haemorrhage. At the same time, the blood, by now oxygen-depleted, flows into the systemic circulation, rather than into the lungs (see Anderson, GC)

The Aware Parenting approach dismisses comfort nursing (otherwise known as non-nutritive sucking). As I've written in my soon to be published book, 'The Drinks are on me' (available from: www.artofchange.co.uk) non-nutritive sucking is every bit as important as breastfeeding for thirst or hunger. It is rarely talked about in lactation circles. Even amongst attachment parents, many mums remove the child from the breast when his/her tummy is full. In indigenous cultures the mother allows the child to suck from the breast which has already had milk withdrawn, for as long as is needed.

As mothers, if we respond immediately and comfort our crying baby, they learn to trust us and in turn become more responsive.

If you're new to mothering and are unsure of how to read your baby's pre-cry cues for hunger, look for the following signs:

making sucking sounds or little sucking motions
sucking on her hands
snuggling or rooting at the breast
increased alertness or activity
making rooting motions
clenching his fists by her face
brushing a hand across her face
putting her fist in his mouth

We are biologically programmed to give a nurturing response to our baby's cries. It is not natural to refrain or to ignore them. Our body responds immediately to our baby's cry. Blood flows to our breasts and we have the urge to pick the baby up and breastfeed. The hormone oxytocin gives us the feeling which helps us to 'love our baby'. So, if this is what our body instructs us to do without any direction from the logical left side of the brain, and then some well-meaning but misguided expert like Marion Badenoch Rose, Aletha Solter, Gina Ford or Angela Henderson tell us to ignore it, you've got to ask yourself why. Investing in their misguided belief systems is a huge loss for your child and for you. Your child is the loser while these gurus get richer.

If you want a happy, contented and balanced baby/child, then get in touch with your mothering instincts ~ and listen to them.

Unassisted Childbirth documentary

Any mums planning a UC Birth?

A few weeks back, Reuters news service interviewed me for a piece on Unassisted Births.

There's now worldwide media interest in the topic. If you live in Britain and are planning an unassisted birth and would be interested in talking to a production team about a documentary… see below.

"We’d explore their reasons, their motivation and follow them through the journey, including the birth. It’s a subject that is really worthy of exploration, particularly given the increasing amount of medical intervention in hospital births, and a woman’s right to choose. We would love to speak with anyone who is considering this option – you don’t have to take part it would just be good to hear from you!!" Please contact emma on emma.barron@vgoodfilms.com or 0207 272 4000

Freebirth on Richard & Judy

Today's Cuppa: Raspberry leaf tea, especially for birthing mothers!


*Childbirth ~ if you want the job done properly, do it yourself!
(from Laura Shanley's unassisted childbirth website ~ www.unassistedchildbirth.com)

Funny, I don't watch Richard and Judy, but when Bethany asked me yesterday if I felt like watching it, I thought, 'what the heck, ok.' I'd been out all day and was shattered, so thought a blob on the couch was no great sin, even though I'm always making dinner at that time.

In hindsight, it must have been my intuition which answered 'yes'. I was so thrilled to discover my gorgeous friend Laura Kaplan Shanley (author of Unassisted Childbirth) as a guest during a segment on Freebirth (unassisted birth). A massive bouquet to you Laura, you were FANTASTIC!!!!

There were also two mums, Natalie Dorchester and Julia Wilson, who'd given birth unassisted, and I thought they were wonderful and brave putting their sacred experience under the harsh media spotlight. They were wise, passionate and intuitive. Intuition may have been dismissed by Richard as 'airy fairy', but quite frankly, it's the most powerful tool a person has. Unfortunately our left-brain dominated society has learnt to dismiss this life-enhancing inner voice.

It was wonderful to see Laura speak so eloquently and articulately on such an emotive topic. But why is it emotive? For but a blip in human history, women 'have' given birth unassisted. In some cultures they still do. Being supported by other women, either relatives or midwives, is a very recent 'intervention'. And having birth managed by doctors and obstetricians is but half a blink in human history.

Richard led to the segment with the question, "How long till a baby dies?" Such a fear-based and negative introduction didn't surprise me, but it did sadden me. Richard and Judy are held up as gods by an adoring public. What they so goes…so even if he's only asking the question and acting like a journalist, putting the thought out there before even commencing the interview is deliberately leading the viewer down a particular path, rather than trusting their intelligence and heart to come to their own conclusion.

They also issued a statement from the Department of Health which said "There are risks involved and we do not recommend freebirth." No surprise there, but what ignorance! There are risks in every aspect of life. I risk my life every time I walk down my stairs, or plug in an electrical appliance, or put food in my mouth. The DoH don't issue statements telling us that to 'live' is dangerous!

To use a government body as the 'authoritative' voice of childbirth is ludicrous. The only true expert of birth is the woman who is in labour.

My disappointment with the show was with the line of questioning, no doubt created by very young researchers and producers. I know that it has to appeal to a particular audience, and let's face it, it is channel four!!, but tv is such an incredibly powerful medium that to waste ten precious minutes evoking fear rather than trying to enlighten and educate, always disappoints me.

Our society doesn't acknowledge the high mortality rate, or damage, which occur during medically induced and attended births. Very rarely do such deaths appear in the mainstream media, even though the consequences are tragic and life-long for the families involved.

People always fear what they don't understand ~ flat earth syndrome…. They're so horrified at the thought of people taking responsibility for their health, well-being and child's birth that they simply can't adjust their limited frame of reference, and so they denounce Freebirth as 'irresponsible'. Were all our ancestress irresponsible for birthing their babies unassisted in the time before scans, forceps, and obstetricians? Hardly! They were awesome wombyn! And as Laura said on the show, anthropologists who've studied cultures where women were nurtured, well-fed and watered had no incidence of death in childbirth.

Why doesn't anyone tell a mother who opts for scans, drugs, forceps, ventouse or a medically unnecessary caesarean, that she is potentially putting herself and her baby in 'grave' danger? Why isn't she warned that the risks greatly outweigh the benefits? Why are these women not seen as irresponsible? For two very simple reasons:

1.) They are in the majority. But just because most people do something it doesn't mean it's right!

2.) There's no money for birth professionals when a woman gives birth unassisted. The more intervention in a birth, the more the doctor or obstetrician makes.

We've become so far removed from our biological design that we can't even recognise nature's perfection. We need to stop looking for what's wrong and look for what's right.

It's absolutely fascinating (if not soul destroying) to see the studies into the common, significant factors shared by autistic children. Although there are more than 20 factors, these children often have at least four or five in common, including:

. Deep forceps delivery
. Separation of mother and child at birth (always happens after birth problems)
. Being hospitalised in early life
. Being exposed to too many strange faces in the early years

Every invention that a mother accepts as normal, such as ~

* A pregnancy test (rather than listening to her body tell her that she's pregnant)
* Scan to tell her that baby is growing and is ok (rather than intuition)
* Antenatal tests (usual barrage ~ urine, blood, heart)
* Drugs to 'mask' her fear
* Fake milk for babe (this topic is so huge and fundamentally explosive to humans, personally and collectively, and humanity's future, that it takes a book to discuss it)
* Cots, cribs, prams, day care, early institutional learning

~ all separate mother from child. They put a physical, emotional and spiritual distance between them. The trouble is that this numbing-out becomes the 'norm' and our detachment is not questioned. Rather, those with a strong mothering instinct are made to look abnormal.

I would say that almost all women who choose an unassisted birth have done so knowing that they had to take 100% responsibility for their actions. In doing so they've taken great care with their health and well-being, possibly doing so from before conception. These women nurture mind, body and soul. For them it's a priority to surround themselves with positive influences and uplifting birth stories. And if women are honest, there's nothing encouraging or supportive about hearing women's horrific birth stories! Why do we keep perpetuating them? And why does the media keep showing women flat on their backs in birth? It's the worst possible position.

If you choose the medical system and eat rubbish, drink alcohol, smoke, don't rest adequately, work throughout your pregnancy, stay in a negative relationship, etc., you're ok aren’t you? The system will take care of you and pick up the pieces. Nobody ever questions it.

I am firmly in the pro-freebirth camp. (Freebirth was a term coined by the late, great Jeannine Parvati Baker). And for the record it IS legal in the UK. Just because the vast majority of professionals in the birthing field and social workers are unaware of it, doesn't mean it's not true! What the law states is that someone not trained in birth 'care' can not 'deliver' the baby. The mother has every right to birth her own baby without assistance or supervision.

At The Mother magazine our ethos regarding birth is that we don't wish to perpetuate the belief that birth is 'dangerous or painful', but rather, that birth can be beautiful, ecstatic and indeed, orgasmic, just as nature intended.

I don't buy the often touted biblical stuff about childbirth pain being the legacy of sin.

That we suffer pain is a direct reflection of our fear of birth and our body, as well as 'taking on' ancestral stuff from recent times. We carry cellular memories from when matriarchal societies were over-ruled and nine million 'witches' (aka wise women!) were burned for knowing about women's power (birth, menstruation, herbs, dreams, etc.) That's a rather heavy burden for us girls to carry. It doesn't mean we need to create invasive, violent or disrespectful births. We can change the pattern. And it is women such as Freebirthers who are taking this in their hands. All praise to them, because for each woman who brings a baby into this world gently, peacefully and magically, they are helping to change the collective energy around birth. I have nothing but pure admiration for them.

My mother had her last three children at home, unassisted. And I suppose for me, it was this normal and natural event that allows me to see Freebirth for what it is, rather than what the media and many birth professionals suggest. I've known of far more babies die or be brain-injured in medically-managed births than I have ever heard of in home or unassisted births.

On Richard and Judy, Laura used the making love analogy. I often cite this in media interviews, 'hoping' that it might just make sense to people…but then making love/sex has become yet another desensitised experience in our modern world.

When we make love, because we're mammals, we do so best in the dark or semi-dark, in an atmosphere conducive to our hormones working well. We need comforting smells and touch, whispered voices. In essence, we need to be 'wooed'.

If you were about to make love to your partner and he suddenly stopped to turn on the tv for cricket results, or raced out of the room to stop the toast burning, or just when you were ready to orgasm, your mum phoned…well, it won't be a great experience! The flow will be interrupted.

The SAME hormones are used in birth and breastfeeding. We're simply not designed to have strangers watching us when we give birth…any more than we're designed to have our blood pressure or heart checked, fingers checking cervix, etc. It's wrong, wrong, wrong!

Most hospital births, by their very nature, involve fluorescent lightning, metal dishes being banged around, staff talking to each other, the bloody clock on the wall ticking!!, machines beeping. What sort of an environment is that in which to welcome a sacred being Earthside? Reeks to me of something rather barbaric, actually. Start life with a violent birth, and odds are greatly in your favour that violence will be part of your life later on.

Muck with birth and you ask for trouble. Period. Every intervention is an intervention on the pathway to more intervention. Accept it at your own risk. Don't worry though, because no one will call you irresponsible…even if you've never given it any thought or your informed consent. No-one will call you irresponsible when your baby is handled like a lump of meat, rather than the exquisitely sensitive being she is.

People often evangelise doctors and say they 'saved' their baby. I will always disagree with that. If a baby survives birth (or any other life/death event) the doctor or midwife is a catalyst, not a life saver. It is incredibly egoic and arrogant to think that a human has the ability to keep a body and soul connected. It's simply not possible. This world we see is but a mere shadow of an unseen REAL world. None of us has control over when the Light goes out, or indeed begins.

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting
The soul that rises with us
Our life's Star
Hath had elsewhere its setting
And cometh from afar
Not in entire forgetfulness
And not in utter nakedness
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home.

~ William Wordsworth

When we can understand at the deepest level that birth and death are one and the same, then we'll have unlocked one of life's deepest mysteries…and then we'll let go of birth management. Society will inevitably change (for the better) as a result. I think, at the deepest level, that most Freebirth women have made the birth/death connection.

Natural birth is a place which invites nurturing and love…words and a practice not part of the obstetrical thesaurus! Birth 'care' as conducted by obstetricians is aggressive by the very nature of it being controlling. To reclaim birth as the sacred experience gifted to us by the Goddess, we need to let go of this obsession with judging a birthing woman by her age, size of her pelvis, previous birth history, urine samples and so on. These are irrelevant to how she'll give birth. What we really need to look at is how she was born. How did her mother bring her into the world? Our own birth has a huge impact on how we approach bringing children into the world ~ conscious or otherwise.

The reason our culture advocates medically supervised birth is because it wants women controlled…for surely there is nothing more primal (or beautiful) than an empowered birthing woman.

It's inevitable, this blog being available to anyone, that some, perhaps many, will read this and disagree wholeheartedly. That's fine. I ask you this, though. If your faith in medical birth is so strong, how would you face birth if you had to take 100% responsibility for it without help, supervision or intervention? What would you do to ensure you and your baby's safety?

Not having a conscious conception is like missing the beginning of a good movie!

~ Thomas Darling

How is it that most modern women manage to conceive without interference but can't give birth without 'help'? Both conception and birth are sacred and otherworldly miracles made manifest in the physical. Perhaps if more people started witnessing their conception as a conscious, creative, selfless act of intimacy in which they first discovered themselves, we'd see it mirrored in an easy, pain-free, spontaneous birth also.

Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth. ~ Katherine Mansfield

British school lunches

Today's cuppa: Linden and galangal tea

It's no wonder Jamie Oliver had kittens when he went into English school kitchens and saw what was being served up!

Last week's menu at my girls' school:

* Meatballs
* Pizza
* Shepherd's pie
* Breaded fish
* Tuna lasagne with garlic bread

It's an outstanding menu, apparently, compared to what Jamie saw in some schools: burgers, fries, turkey twizzlers...

At my girls' school there's no vegetarian/vegan option on the menu ~ whether that's because this is a farming community, or because only skinny celebrities are vegetarians, I'm not sure. Those children who don't eat meat will be left with overcooked cabbage, mashed potato or chips with tomato sauce. Eliza's teacher didn't even know what a vegan was. You'd think it was the 1960s.

Even if there had been a meat-free option, I'd never let my children eat school food. A number of reasons exist for this:

. The poor quality of ingredients compared to their usual diet.
. Consciousness of the cooks (one of them stands outside the school smoking, and drinking coke).
. At home I know what's in the food. Meals are prepared from scratch ~ so no hidden ingredients.
. Authenticity of the kitchen workers ~ do they care about hygiene, food quality, etc. My husband is always shocked by how many men using public loos don't wash their hands. He's even seen food preparation workers avoid doing this most basic act of hygiene.
. My children's meals don't contain additives, preservatives, e-numbers, sugar or unhealthy fats.

Tuesday at school was healthy living day so the cook was making a special, healthy meal. A note was sent home to let parents know. Can you guess which one of the above meals was the healthy one? Tuna lasagne, of course! It's so obvious isn't it?

. Tuna ~ full of mercury.
. Cheese ~ to clog up the mucosal membranes and add unhealthy fats to a growing child's body ~ they'll be the adults who are dependant on the NHS because of sky-rocketing cholesterol. Unhealthy fats are one of the leading factors in skin cancer ~ the sun literally cooking them on the skin. This doesn't happen with natural oils like flaxseed, hemp, nuts, olive and avocado if consumed in their raw state.
. Wheat ~ a common allergen. It isn't designed to be consumed by the human body. People who are conscious of what they eat and how it affects them will notice how quickly wheat drains their energy. Why would we feed this to children in the middle of a school day?
. Garlic bread ~ in case they didn't get enough wheat in the lasagne they can also have some garlic bread because we all know white bread is so nutritious. That's silly, of course, because white, processed products have a deleterious effect on the body stripping us of nutrients.
. Spread for garlic bread ~ add a bit of butter or margarine for another dose of unhealthy fat. The garlic is probably processed powdered stuff, rather than freshly crushed, because most children probably wouldn't touch fresh garlic.

The children whose parents think the above menu is great will be eating similar, or worse, at home. No conscious parent would find such food acceptable on a daily basis.

How on earth is a human supposed to thrive on such a diet? Where are the enzymes, the 'light' electrons, the living nutrients? Why are we ~ as a culture ~ feeding our children dead food? Is it because we've become deadened ourselves and can't be bothered to honour the needs of a growing body?

Fortunately my girls know enough about nutrition to see that the school's attitude to food is inadequate at best. It's rather telling that for those children who don't eat the cooked school lunches, their lunch is called sandwich time. Why not say "time for home lunches"? Why presume every child lives off bread? Because it's the norm… Just about every child at the school with a packed lunch does eat bread. Sure, it's quick and easy to make, and doesn't take much thought or preparation, but is that a good enough reason to give that to a child day after day?

Why not try the following?

Vegetable crudités and hommous
Stuffed vine leaves
Tofu, olives, cherry tomatoes, cucumber chunks
Quinoa with apple and walnut salad
Mango and chickpea curry with amaranth
Basmati with lime and coriander
Home-made carrot and ginger soup in a mini-flask
Lentil, tofu and sweet corn rissoles (made with rice crumbs, not wheat ~ and baked, not fried)
Carrot and cucumber sticks with apricot and chickpea dip
Rice crackers and tofu cream cheese with assorted raw vegetables
Fresh fruit smoothie

We went to the school's summer fare the other day and I noticed a food poster in Eliza's classroom. It had the usual four food groups and one of them was labelled 'meat and alternatives'. Why should other proteins be considered alternative when for most of the world's population they are staples? Haven't we moved on at all, as a species, to know that protein isn't obtainable from meat alone? What ever happened to quinoa [contains all 8 amino acids], tofu, leafy greens, nuts, beans, tahini (sesame spread), pulses, beansprouts?

Food is a vibrational medicine. It literally nourishes every cell of our being ~ mind, body and soul. We simply can't expect to raise our consciousness if we're regularly consuming 'consciousness-numbing' food. Most people are on a standard processed diet and are committing slow suicide simply by ingesting dead foods on a regular basis.

We all have a choice. No-one forces us to eat dead, processed food. We put it in there all by ourselves. This next generation is dependant on us to set a good example. That means we have to step out laziness, cultural norms and habit ~ and reach for optimal nutrition. It includes taking the time to eat as a family, away from the tv; and sitting down together and being grateful for the food we're about to eat.

Humanity has been breaking bread together for millions of years. Our cultural consumption of food taken in isolation, and without mindfulness, is a new phenomenon. The consequences are dire.

Child's Play

Bethany, Veronika and Eliza on a windy day at Lake Ulswater.

Today's cuppa: Lemon grass and ginger

Back in the saddle again! Yeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. It's been ages since I've blogged. It looks like Google has finally sorted out its technical stuff.

Play doesn't come naturally to me ~ I blame it on Saturn in Aries in my 5th house (the house of children, play and creativity)… Saturn in Aries is a bit like going through life with the brakes permanently on! Saturn prefers structure and routine and scratches his head at spontaneity and laughter. Silly old thing.

The other day Eliza and I were playing ball on the netball court. I used to be quite good at it as a kid ~ before I grew breasts and got all out of balance! My fondest childhood memories involve play, and although I'm one of eight children, many of my games involved only moi! But play I did. The resources around me were endless ~ mountains, creek, waterfall, trees, horses, corrugated iron to slide down a hillside on, swimming in muddy dams, building tree houses, acres and acres to run and hide in. Childhood was fun!

I was blessed to live on such a large amount of land, and to be free to explore without the modern day fear many parents have of their child being abducted. There were dangers all around me though. Always the possibility of falling down the waterfall, being bitten by a red-belly black snake (god, I get goosebumps even writing the word snake!!), tripping over in a field away from adults, being thrown off my horses, etc.

Childhood is a great training ground for adulthood. If all the dangers which existed had been used as an excuse to stop me playing, the rest of my life would have turned out very differently. Through risk, and pushing boundaries, I learnt to believe in myself. We can be aware of dangers, but the key isn't to focus on them…lest we attract them in. I read recently that worry is another way of praying for what you don't want! When my children go out to play I imagine them protected by a 'white light' ~ call it a guardian angel if you will. I don't help them by chewing my finger nails in anxiety. I have to trust.

In the news this week we hear shocking statistics of how few children in Britain are allowed to play outside unsupervised by adults before the age of 14. Fourteen? Cripes, I left home at 16! How would I have been prepared for adult life with just two years of risk taking?

It's heartbreaking really. Children need self-created adventure, to take risks, to have fun ~ without adults around.

Just the other day the village boys were collecting bits of wood and cutting the wheels from the wheelie bins (!) to make a go-cart. How different their childhood would be if they lived in a large city. In winter, if it snows, the children get to toboggan down the main road in our village.

My girls can ride their bikes all around here. Are they safe? Yes and no.

I 'trust' that they'll be safe when they go out. The farmers around here have no concept of slowing down on their tractors through the village (they travel faster than cars) and all the while talk on their mobile phones.

I know life can change in a nano-second and that a moment of not concentrating by the farmer could end a life or cause permanent injury to a child on foot or on their bike. Should I keep my children in the back garden? Both answers could be right. As a mother I feel it is wrong to restrict my children to the back yard. If I lived in the middle of London things might be a bit different, but I'd certainly make sure they had access to outdoor spaces without feeling I was watching them.

The odds of abduction are so statistically low that to use it as an excuse to isolate children is very sad.

As for children being sexually abused, it is usually done by someone you know. I never left my children with baby sitters (not for that reason) and the few times they've been in someone else's care, it has been someone I trusted with my gut. I think my radar now for abusers is pretty accurate. God knows I drew enough of them into my childhood!

My children are of an age where the communication between us is such that they could tell me if any man (or woman) ever attempted to invade them or take advantage in any way. They know their body belongs to them and not another.

Our village, Glassonby, only has about 100 residents…it's a tiny place at the base of the Pennines. It does have a holiday cottage and so I'm used to seeing a stranger from time to time, as well as cyclists on the coast to coast route. A year or so back, the girls and I were coming into the village after a long walk. A man came walking past us ~ we said hello ~ and I suddenly felt so sick in my stomach. It was one of those situations where the 'logical' brain was trying to shoosh up the intuitive part of me and wondering what on earth was going on. I don't know why but I said to the girls, 'don't go back out in the village today ~ just play in the garden.'

About half an hour later the phone rang. Another lady in the village called to say that a man was hanging about at the local stone circle ~ ½ mile away. Children had seen porno magazines in the back of his car as well as a Postman Pat blanket. She suggested I might want to keep the kids at home. Turns out it was the same man.

OMG. At least my intuition was spot on. This bloke hung around the village for a week. The police said they couldn't do anything until he'd 'done something'.

It did highlight that even little villages can be targets for those who prey on children. This is one of the last places in the populated world that I'd have expected it… My children roam freely throughout the village and up to about a mile past the outskirts. The condition is they only go beyond the outskirts if they're with each other and that they tell me which direction they're going in.

It can be tough raising kids in this culture. Our biggest fear though, should be fear itself. None of us can know what someone else's soul journey is while on this Earth. To think we actually have control over another soul's life choices is a myth. We can't know that maybe they're meant to fall over and break a leg or fall out of a tree. We can lock our kids up in the bedrooms, cotton wool them from life, but why on earth would we even have children if something as basic and ESSENTIAL as play is being denied?

Collectively we've taken away gentle birth, the in-arms phase, full-term breastfeeding and unstructured learning…now we're taking play away too? Can't anyone see the long-term consequences of this? It will come back to haunt society.

If you're frightened of your children being attacked, let them take martial arts courses or go with a friend to their destination. Life is full of risks but, as someone once wisely said: "Life's either a daring adventure or NOTHING AT ALL." And frankly, without a little risk life isn't worth living.

See you next week! Have fun. ~ Veronika