Saturday, March 17, 2007

Mothering Sunday

Saturday Cuppa: Back to my ol' faithful nettle tea.

Tomorrow, millions of pounds will be spent on buying flowers raised through the use of deadly, toxic, environment-destroying chemicals, quickly grown in hot houses and transported long distances. To say what? Something we seem incapable of saying for the other 364 days of the year? Doesn't anyone question the insanity of yet another potentially beautiful tribute and celebration being cast under the glare of corporate commercialism and greed? I am always challenged by people who fall into the gift trap when they can't even stand their mum; when they moan about her every day of the year.

For me, Mothering Sunday (or Mother's Day in May as celebrated in Australia) would be far better suited to every mother acknowledging mothers who aren't able to be with their children, for whatever reason. For humanity to evolve, we all have to move up a notch, and keep moving up. We're all connected, so it's vital we support each other as syster-mothers and acknowledge the job of mothering. Some people have it easier ~ healthy kids, low-need kids, supportive life partner, fluent family income and so on. Life appears 'easy'. Other mums have hell. And those who don't have the smoothest ride through life tend to be judged by their performance. And yet, aren't we all just doing our best without a 'manual' for mothering?

Paul and I were looking at a picture of famous wealthy woman the other day debating on whether she had had plastic surgery. I said she hadn't ~ that when you've got that much money you afford to look beautiful. Me too, I said ~ I'd look that glam and gorgeous with a full wallet of Monopoly money. No, honest I would!!

And it's like that with mothering. When we're rich with love, support, understanding and conscious awareness, then yes, we can look like the best mother in the world. Mothering is easy when we don't have any elements working against us.

But what about mums in prison? Or mums who've had their kids taken away by the inept social services ~ an institution as flawed and snail-slow paced as the British legal system. Are they any less worthy of the title of mother? No, they're not.

Spare a thought for them tomorrow as you give your mum flowers, chocolate and wine. Spare a thought. Please?

My heart this weekend goes out to Sally Clark's family. She was the solicitor convicted of murdering two of her children. Thanks to the ridiculous comments by the so called expert Roy Meadows, she was convicted. I had correspondence with Sally's dad while she was in prison and it was appalling how much evidence was there that the jury hadn't been given in trial. Sally's trial by media as some alcoholic middle-class mother was a disgrace to mankind. It really was.

Years later, after much campaigning by her family, her conviction was quashed when evidence was finally allowed to be given to show the boys died of a rare medical condition. Both boys. So what do you say to that Roy Meadows? The release of Sally Clark led to other mothers who'd WRONGLY been jailed for murdering their kids being released. So, you could say some good came out of it. Paaaa! At what price? At what price for some arrogant man's statistical 'evidence'?

Yesterday Sally Clark was found dead in her home. I think she died a long time ago. She died long before she went to prison. Large chunks of her vanished when her baby boys died. Until we walk in the shoes of a mother with a broken heart, we can never really understand what Mother's Day means.


Perfectionist or is that perfectonist?

Had to laugh this week when a comment came in about my blog and that I appeared to be 'calm' about the girls going to school. Blogs can be deceiving! I can see that I'm going to have a lot of issues to resolve within myself on a weekly basis about the inadequacies of mainstream schooling. Promise to not to keep boring you with it all, but just I need to get this off my chest!

Bethany came home with the week's spelling words and I noticed perfectionist was spelt perfectonist. I presumed it was a typo, but felt irritated that 25+ something kids will be learning their spelling words and they didn't even have the 'luxury' of having the correct spelling to guide them. At the risk of sounding arrogant, and it certainly isn't intended like that, there are parents around here who'll have a spelling level of their child and won't know that the word was wrong. So, come spelling day, if all the kids write perfectonist, should they be marked wrong? Hardly! It was the teacher's duty to check it. I've seen a number of errors in the school's literature that has me clenching my jaw so perhaps all this SATS stuff the kids go through, really should be directed toward the staff and not the children.

Anyway, being the dutiful parent, I sent a note along to the teacher pointing out the correct spelling. That evening I asked Bethany if the teacher appeared embarrassed.

"No, she just turned away from me and looked it up in the dictionary," said Bethany matter-of-factly.

Well, I can't say it left me speechless as I ranted on about it for a while. Poor husband, must be hell being married to me sometimes. Especially when I see red!

Anyway, life's not all bad (cheeky grin!), my friend Fabienne from France is coming today. We've not seen each other for four years, so it'll be a real treat to sit back and have a long girly chat. Bitter weather on its way, so a perfect excuse to sit by the fire!

Have a great week, and however you celebrate Mother's Day, just remember, we're all in it together!


Harmonious Living said...

Its not boring! - its brill to hear how you are dealing with the school stuff, and your sharing evokes other mums to make a stand too. I know my daughter tears her hair out sometimes re the 'school stuff' keep addressing it, keep sharing about it.
Calm or not calm lol.
Brill blog as ever.
x ruth said...

your post touched my heart was, well another heart breaker for me and you do know what that is as i have shared with you. The preacher preached on a stone and a loaf of bread, and sometimes you feel you are given stones and your bread has not been given you or it has been taken away. for me, i have two little stones, two precious little heart shaped stones that my arms long to hold <3 <3 said...

umm yeah, that was me Lactation Guru...i was in blogger doing my job lol for cardratings! :) and as i am now :)

Siobhan said...

V!! Haven't looked at your blog for a while...I'm amazed that the girls have gone to school. It's been very interesting to hear about it. I just wanted to drop in and send you, Paul and the girls all our very best love and wishes and support.

xxx Siobhán, Alex Joe and Squashy!