Saturday, March 31, 2007

TWO

Saturday Cuppa: Apple and cinnamon tea.

Before You
By William Arthur Ward
Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticise, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give.


Two weeks of my girlies back home from school on holidays. Two weeks to sleep in again! Two weeks of picnics together and long walks in the woods or by the river. Two weeks free of routine. Now that's what I call living!

Two lives
Last week Bethany said the kids in her class were all talking about the chocolate eggs they were getting for Easter. She kept quiet and didn't share the celebration of Easter that is a tradition in our family.


As a child, on Easter Sunday, my mum would wrap up little bundles of dried fruit and nuts for me and my seven siblings. She would put them in coloured cellophane paper, with our name on the outside, and hide it in our garden which was about 4 acres! It was truly a paradise full of a huge variety of fruit and nut trees and great fun to play in for any child. If we found someone else's bundle, we weren't allowed to tell them and had to keep hunting. I don't have the luxury of such a big garden, but I have continued the Easter Hunt with wholefood treats for my girls, which they love! They've never asked for chocolate Easter eggs.

Eliza had no issue about sharing this with her class mates, yet for Bethany it symbolised a massive difference between her and her new friends. Desperate to fit in, to melt into the 'norm', already she is hiding aspects of herself.

It breaks my heart as it is what many people in our society do. I also recognise that it is a choice and it's her journey. Paul suggested to her that she may find herself starting to live two lives ~ the life she has at home, with us, that is alternative to the world view & the life she has at school where, for the most part, she 'fits' in.

How many of us have stepped away from mainstream thinking to be true to our heart and core values? I know I certainly have and the price of that usually does mean the 'road less travelled'. I wonder though, when we choose to stay with the herd, if we ever do feel complete? For me, to live two lives in order to fit in to society and theoretically be 'accepted', would essentially mean killing off my soul. Nah, not ready for Soul Suicide.
Life's to big and gorgeous to hide away.

4 comments:

Eva said...

Veronika I just wanted to tell you I absolutely LOVE your blog. :) I found myself drawn to it after watching a part of your documentary on u-tube. You have a huge crowd of supporters on a breastfeeding support forum found at www.kellymom.com Pop in and say hello to us if you find the time. I am sure your breastfeeding experience could be a source of inparation to some of our "kelly"moms.

Sincerely,

Eva
evaski[at]gmail[dot]com

macbump said...

Hi from one full-term breastfeeder to another. My first daughter weaned on her own accord at age 6 (boy watching you nurse your younger on the youtube video brought back memories!). My younger one is 4 years 4 mos and almost weaned. She asks to nurse about once every 2 weeks or so at the moment and usually takes one "suck" and says "no more milk". Last time, she said "I guess we need to open up your nursies and put more in!". Out of the mouthes of babes...

Fio

hestiahomeschool said...

I just saw your beautiful video of breastfeeding your daughter. I could not breastfeed my oldest, who was one and a half when she was adopted. My middle child weaned at ten years and three months. (I think she might have weaned earlier but I finally had another baby and all that yummy milk came in--like melted ice cream, she said). I did have one nasty incident with a family member when she was four saying that I was sexually abusing her. Tabitha is now the most confident, outgoing, independent and bright child you would ever hope to meet, and I am sure it is all the time she spent at her mother's breast. My last baby Shelby is almost five and still nurses at least once an hour. I don't think she will wean for a long time, it is still too important to her. I do post many pictures of her nursing so that people can slowly get it into their minds that it is perfectly normal. Hugs to you for all your bravery.

I will be reading your blog now--you are a kindred spirit in many ways. Although I could never give up chocolate.

Come visit our daily blog at http://journals.aol.com/hestiahomeschool/HomeschoolingJournal/ to share our lives!

'EF' said...

To walk away from the mainstream takes total bravery...sometimes when I percieve pressure to meld with the norm again I teeter on the edge of 'hiding' or denying parts of myself..just so as to make life 'easier'. But it causes agonies within.

I realised the other day that almost every aspect of what I do seems outwardly different to the norm. The homebirthing, the long term breastfeeding, the fact that I am a 'SAH' mum, that we don't spend or rely heavily on gameboys and candy to placate our kids. That we home ed. That we don't use orthodox medicine, just herbs. I have embraced Islam which means that I wear hijab..another choice that puts me on the 'outside'.

As a family we get accused of being far out. This is honestly not our purpose. We just do what is comfortable for us. And we are not afraid to be different..even though this carries a price. Being different draws attention to us and that can be very difficult to handle. I am really not into defending our life choices but we are called to again and again. Our kids, so far, haven't shown any signs of wanting to hide our far outness..but then they are out of school. It wasn't that easy when they were part of it.

I've only read a couple of your Saturday posts, Veronika, but your blog makes scrumptious reading :)

(homelyeducation.blogspot.com)